The death penalty

is entirely appropriate for bicycle thieves. Without exception, bicycle thieves are the lowest form of human – well, primate – life. I believe that the death penalty should be applied in this manner: Hook up a bike to a generator, and force the thief to pedal – a whip will keep him in motion. When a sufficient charge has built up, the a resistor burns through, the bike is electrified, and the thief fries. If he refuses to pedal, that’s all right, we’ll just whip him to death instead.

You may be guessing that I had to walk to work today. Gah!

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7 Comments

Filed under Personal

7 responses to “The death penalty

  1. Carillon

    It is an epidemic, my new bike was recently stolen too, and walking everywhere sucks. I feel your pain, and would for you for governor if you want to implement your radical plan for the benefit of society!

  2. Richard Campbell

    Why did the two of you store your bicycles outside your respective domiciles?

  3. kingofmen

    I live on the second floor of an apartment building with extremely narrow stairs. Getting the bike up and down every day was not an option.

  4. Carillon

    And because my apartment is small enough as is if without storing a bike in it.

  5. Richard Campbell

    “And because my apartment is small enough as is if without storing a bike in it.”

    Yes, well, I suppose you don’t have that problem anymore, no.

  6. Richard Campbell

    King of Men…why GMT for the blog?

  7. kingofmen

    I suppose it is the default. Didn’t see any particular reason to change it.

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