New playing position, new name for the AAR: The Matter of Spain is at an end, The Dominion of the Dreki begins. I have been here – that is, Northern Europe, bordering the North Sea – before; the Ynglings of the Great Game and the MacRaghnalls of God Will Know His Own were both North Sea powers, and the Ynglings of There Will Be War spent most of their EU3 time fighting over England. So the playing style, if I survive, will be familiar; I admit to some concern that the AARs may also, um, have a certain ring of familiarity to them. There’s a reason I wrote, in the first post of Children of the Fatherland, “It is a thrice-told tale”, and moved myself south to Rome. It didn’t work out that well for game success, but at least the AAR was fresh! Also, why I wanted to play Spain in the first place; or Russia. C’est le jeu; I will make the best of it.
That said: I had ideas for how to write a Crusading kingdom in Iberia; I had ideas for how to write a Cossack-ish Norse tribal based in the Urals; but this week I find myself a bit short on narrative. So for the time being, my plan is to do gameplay reports until I have a feeling for this new dynasty, and inspiration for writing them.
Casting your minds back to the distant depths of December 2014, before our catastrophic save-bloat problems were fixed by the leet Python skillz of Oddman, you may recall that Vaniver left me with rather a nice position: Doge, Fylkir, quite a bit of cash, trading posts and vassals from Denmark to Ireland. Also, my heir was the expected winner of the election; that was the part that didn’t work out. The RNG giveth, the RNG taketh away; the infrequent second-guy-wins roll happened and I was left as Fylkir and ruler of two counties, plus my family palace and trade posts.
The new AI ruler of Denmark, naturally, instantly got into a disastrous series of wars:
- Fraticelli Revolt: Fought in southern England and Ireland. Eventually crushed by my very expensive mercenaries holding them off long enough for the AI to get its act, and troops, together.
- Denmark Revolt: Most of England-south-of-Thames. Not actually a problem, since they were hostile to the Fraticelli; it was just a question of sieging their provinces back. Didn’t do our levies any good, though. Additionally, my Genius character who was first in line to inherit the Dogeship died in a battle against them.
- Powys: Another thing about being an AI with massive revolt issues, every jumped-up Welsh tribelet with more than two cousins to call on thinks they can take advantage and get their de-jure stuff back. My retinue was enough to show these guys what-for.
- Essex: Tried for Kent. Allied to most of the other petty English kingdoms.
- Norway: Wanted Agder back. Once I had dealt with the Fraticelli for it, the AI shipped its army across to Scandinavia to deal with this one-county challenge, plus the Second Danish Revolt in Skåne. Five thousand troops trying to fight in Norway in winter, three winters in a row. Now, admittedly they did finally convince the stubborn Norse to give up their claim. However, they left England, much wealthier, essentially defenseless against raiders, and also against:
- Second Fraticelli Revolt: Which was successful, and created a Catholic kingdom covering most of England-south-of-Thames, including Bristol. In fact it’s probably the most powerful feudal entity in the Isles.
This is what happens when you elect a non-Dreki as Doge, you nitwits.
Well! At least this should be a most salutary lesson for the idiot Danish electorate. As the saying goes, they got the government they deserved, and they got it good and hard. Naturally, the one thing grand prince Ofeig proved adept at was detecting assassination plots, hence my little stint in jail. But he saw my point of view, to wit, “can’t blame a man for trying”, and also he needed the ransom money to pay his armies. It could also be that he felt a bit odd, imprisoning the one vassal who was actually doing something effective about the dang Fraticelli.
It really shouldn’t be this expensive to bribe a bunch of filthy jumped-up peasants.
My agenda for the eight-sixties, then, is firstly to win the dang election, and let’s hope it is not long delayed; since I’m about thirty, and my competition is north of sixty, that 2x term in (x+1)^2 is hitting my campaign score with 70 points a year. Second, once the right family is in charge of this place, to recover England-south-of-Thames, show the Essexians who is boss, and demonstrate to the Norwegians that raiding does not pay.
Little bits of kingdoms cannot stand against their foes: England-south-of-Thames is mostly Wicked – excuse me, Hwicce. London and area is Essex; north of that, East Anglia. York is Northumbria, the middle kingdom is Mercia, the blue in the far north is Lothian, and the Welsh mountains still hold an independent Powys. All shall be hammered into one!