Tag Archives: Crusader Kings 2

Not An AAR: Poetic Eddy

You try to parse this text as prose, but then you see how the scansion goes, and now you’re stuck with singing it, so screw ya! It’s definitely no AAR, it doesn’t pass the poetry bar, it’s just some words that scan like Hallelujah! (Hallelujah, hallelujah…)

Becoming king is the easy part, you gotta show some guts and heart, and Wessex with no levies seemed to draw me; they did find plenty of allies though, I sailed back north with naught to show, I looked about to raise another army. (‘Nother army, ‘nother army…)

I did my best, there wasn’t much, my vassals thought I’d lost my touch; they said, “In truth, the Wessex AI fooled ya”. But even though that went all wrong, their army wasn’t all that strong, I raised a mercenary Hallelujah! (Hallelujah, hallelujah…)

Comrades, I’d been there before; but now there was that ticking warscore; I needed something fast to keep things going. The siege was close, but two days slow; the offer came, a king brought low; my salty curses rapidly were flowing! (Curses flowing, curses flowing…)

All-Father Odin sits above, and when the putsch came to the shove, the Council found they didn’t have his favour; but civil wars are of no use, for even when you win, you lose; I gave him no atrocity to savour. (None to savour, none to savour…)

Prepared invasion was in vain; the ally swarm was too insane; I looked for softer targets for expansion.
Against the pagans to my north, I swiftly marched my levies forth, and that concludes my Hallelujah scansion! (Hallelujah…)

Timeline of events in Norway this session:

Unification of Norway: June 10th, 879.
Norwegian Invasion of Wessex: May 881.
Battle of Lindsey: June 881.
Norwegian Retreat from Wessex: July 881.
Second Norwegian Invasion of Wessex, Now Also With Mercenaries: May 882.
Siege of Lindsey: May 882.
Ticking Warscore Peace of Lindsey: July 3rd, 882.
Hypothetical Surrender of Lindsey: July 5th, 882.
First Norwegian Council Revolt for More Power: August, 882.
First Norwegian Crusade Against the Lapps In Search Of Easier Targets: May, 883.


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